Do you ever feel at a dead end? The trail doesn’t seem to open up with any new vistas, you’re breathing dust, and more tired than you should be?
Is that the time to say, “I wish…….” and think about being someplace else, doing something different, distract yourself? Or is that the time to change direction, take action? What is the difference between a wish and a dream?
Recently, my life has seemed to come to a crashing halt. I love living in Big Bear, in the mountains, with the lake and the wilderness all around. The people are great. My house is great. Right now, I’m sitting under the front porch, watching the rain, enjoying the last flowers of the season, listening to the birds, wrapped in a hand-made afghan I found in my friend’s vintage shop here in town. What a wonderful place to write!
Unfortunately, while so many things in Big Bear are great, I seem to have veered off in the wrong direction in my work life. After being laid off from the camp job I loved, going to a couple of interviews, looking around for work, I lost the trail.
In the almost two years since the job ended, I have done so many different types of work. I have built web pages, taught people how to use Facebook for business marketing, encouraged people to become connected with social media or just text with their phone. I have stocked shelves and hung signs as a merchandiser and written news stories for the local radio station. I have kept books for local businesses and non-profits. I have worked as the advertising and marketing person for a local restaurant.
Somehow none of this clicked. So I tried working harder in the hopes that things would come together. Instead, I began to have physical problems, becoming more sick and ill with an infection that I couldn’t shake. Eventually there were days I wasn’t able to work at all, or at least not doing the things my clients needed.
Being just a tiny bit stubborn, I was afraid of being a failure if I changed direction. I kept running harder and in lots of different directions. I wasn’t following an important rule of terrain navigation and survival. I wasn’t paying attention to the trail, taking a bit of time to stop and reconnoiter, then taking a better, safer path when the road got too rocky and impassable.
Luckily, I have a friend from the Bearly Speaking Toastmasters who encouraged me to participate in one of her seminars. Luckily, after dutifully following the concepts of Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich” to try to build my business, I hit the wall.
Instead of using my energy, time, love and caring to build a business, I need to (finally) acknowledge my dreams and get back to working in the outdoors. I have wanted to be a Park Ranger since I was very young, and that’s the direction I need to go!
With my friend’s help, and David’s enthusiastic support (since returning to working, playing, and exploring in the outdoors is his dream also) we’re changing direction.
It looks like this will mean leaving Big Bear—-I have been applying for outdoor jobs locally but haven’t found openings so far.
At least we’re out of the dead end and have found a trail that is a better hike. New vistas are opening and we’re resting easier along the way.
Is this a wish or a dream? Merriam Webster says a wish is having a desire for something unobtainable. They say a dream is a strongly desired goal or purpose, and a visionary creation of the imagination. So we are following our dream, doing what is necessary to get back outdoors, living and working and exploring.
